Miles From Nowhere

I am a Randy Moss fan. I don't know how it happened. I'm not even sure I like it. Of all the athletes for me to like, most people would probably least expect me to love a guy like Moss. I like guys who play for the love of the game, not for the money alone. I love athletes who give their all on every play and put the team first, not ones who play for selfish, individual goals. Randy Moss is known for shooting his mouth off and "playing when he wants to play." Why then, am I so infatuated with him?

Theory #1- Randy Moss is one of the funniest athletes I have ever seen. Look at the picture above. Has there been a funnier moment in sports than when he pulled that shit, and Joe Buck had a conniption on national TV? He provides us with some of the funniest quotes ever as well.

E.G.- "You send that check in yet Randy?"

"When you rich, you don't write checks."

"How are you gonna pay the fine?"

"Straight cash, homey."

funny as fuck.

Theory #2- If there is a bigger redneck in the NFL, I have yet to see him. Randy is a country boy from West Virginia, and I stress country boy. He hosts an annual fishing tournament for charity. He fly fishes in a pond behind his house. He went to Marshall University for Christsake. One of the best stories I have ever heard involves Moss on his recruiting visit to Tennessee in the mid-90's. My boss at work used to be Coach Fulmer's right hand man, and dealt with the recruiting visits. Randy gets off the bus in Knoxville and meets his party, who asks him what he wants to do on his visit. First thing Randy says is "I wanna swim." Everyone was like "...... what?" So they set him up in the indoor pool at the Rec Center, where Randy proceeds to swim by himself for almost two hours.

Theory #3- Somewhere deep inside of me, there is a part of my sports fan psyche that loves guys who say whatever they want, play how they want, and live how they want. Moss is the president of the "I play when I want club." He can be selfish and immature. He can also be the most dangerous receiver ever. All Randy wants is for you to know this, and so he will make a rediculous play, and then walk off the field before the game is over. This is what confuses me, because my dad instilled the ideals of sportsmanship and honor in me from a young age. For some reason, I find guys like Moss and Ron Artest fascinating and hilarious. Sports are entertainment, and I love to be entertained by these guys. They don't care what people think of them. They "keep it real" as Moss once said.

And you know what, the realness hurts. It's also tremendous.

# posted by Galileo's Gambit @ 1:18 PM